A day at the golf course
by Vivi239
Summary: After revising this fic, I have decided to post it once again. R


Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, if I did, I would be very rich, which I'm not, so don't sue me!  
  
Also I would like to thank a friend of mine for helping me with a few ideas for this fanfiction. Thanks malachiteprincess! Also there is Relena bashing, so if you like Relena, don't read this fic!  
  
A day at the golf course  
  
By: Vivi239  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
A usual 'normal' day at the Winner mansion.  
  
Heero: Dammit Duo! Why did you raid the refrigerator again!?  
  
Duo is lying on the couch with a sheepish look on his face.  
  
Duo: I couldn't help it, I was hungry!  
  
Heero: So you ate a WHOLE frickin turkey!?  
  
Wufei comes into the kitchen to find out what is going on.  
  
Wufei: Why are yelling Heero?  
  
Heero: Because Duo ate a whole turkey as a midnight snack! That's Why!  
  
Wufei: What? That turkey was supposed to be tonight's dinner! Injustice!  
  
Just then the other two arrive in the kitchen also wondering what's going on. And they hear what Duo had for a midnight snack.  
  
Quatre: What? Now what will we have for dinner? Do you have any idea's Trowa?  
  
Trowa: .......  
  
Wufei: Uhh, yeah, well anyway, how about we go out for dinner for once?  
  
Trowa finally decides to speak.  
  
Trowa: Sound's good to me.  
  
Duo begins to get excited.  
  
Duo: Oh! Can we go to Chuck E. Cheeses?  
  
All except Duo: NO.  
  
Duo: Aww man!  
  
Heero: How about we go golfing and think it over?  
  
Quatre: Huh? YOU like to golf?  
  
Heero: Yes, do you have a problem with that?  
  
Quatre: Umm, no, not really.  
  
Heero: Good, anyway how about it?  
  
All: Alright.  
  
The five teenagers pack into Duo's new Ford Explorer. (Yes Duo has a truck, why? Because I said so, that's why!) Only Heero drives it. He does't trust Duo behind the wheel. But about halfway there.  
  
Quatre: OW! Stop poking me Duo!  
  
Duo: Heh heh heh!  
  
Suddenly, Duo stops laughing when he hears the click of the safety from Heero's gun.  
  
Heero: Duo, shut up! And stop poking people!  
  
Duo: ......  
  
Trowa: Good, were almost there.  
  
Wufei: Thank god.  
  
After a few more minutes, they arrive at the golf course. Where they deal with the necessary things, get the clubs, the balls, and sign up for the field. They then go to the lodge to get something to drink. Unfortunately for everyone else, Duo gets Jolt Cola.  
  
Duo: Hey guys! Can I go first? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I?  
  
Heero: Alright Duo, you can go first.  
  
Duo: Yay!  
  
By the time they reach the start of the first course, most of the caffeine has worn off. Actually Duo is a lot calmer then he normally is when it wore off. Too bad things get even worse.  
  
Duo: Hmm. wind direction is mild and heading east. I just need to angle it right.  
  
He prepares to swing the club, but when he brings the club behind him, it slips out of his hand and it pegs Wufei square in the nose.  
  
Wufei: OWWWWWWW!!! INJUSTICE!!!  
  
Duo: Heh heh, whoops?  
  
Wufei: I'll 'whoops' you Maxwell! Get over here!  
  
Duo: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! It was an accident! I swear it was! I'm SORRY!!!!  
  
Wufei: I don't care if you say it was an accident! Just stand still so I can cut off that braid!  
  
Duo: NOOOOOOO!!! Not my beautiful braid! Anything but my braid!  
  
Wufei chases Duo around pretty much of the whole first course with his katana in hand. But they stop when Heero pulls his gun from who knows where.  
  
Heero: Knock it off, Duo, try again, and try to keep a firm grip on the club this time, okay?  
  
Duo: OK.  
  
Trowa: .......  
  
Things continue to go OK until they reach the 18th course. That's when things begin to get worse for everyone. Including Duo.  
  
Duo: Ok Duo, you've gotten this far, don't mess up.  
  
He swings the club and it connects with the ball, unfortunately, the ball lands on a branch on a tree.  
  
Duo: Oops, uh, Heero, can you hand me another ball?  
  
Heero: No Duo, I can't.  
  
Duo: Why not?  
  
Heero: Because unless the ball lands outside the court, you need to hit it from where it is.  
  
Duo: WHAT!? I need to swing the ball from up THERE!?  
  
Heero: Yup.  
  
Duo: Damn it all!  
  
Wufei: Quit complaining and get the ball Maxwell.  
  
Duo: Fine.  
  
Duo goes and climbs the tree, but when he gets up there, he finds out that the ball is in a robin's nest. Duo sighs and carefully steps over to the nest. When he gets close enough to get the ball, the baby robins start to screech. This attracts the mother's attention, as well as several other female robins. And just as he grabs the ball, the robins start pecking him. And he loses balance and falls out of the tree. And just as he loses balance, the ball drops back onto the branch. Duo falls and lands on his ass.  
  
Duo: Owwww! Hey, where'd the ball go?  
  
His question is answered when the ball lands on his head. And because of all the pecking from the birds to his head, his eyes roll upward and he says something before passing out for a few minutes.  
  
Duo: But mommy, I don't want to go to school today, I wanna stay home and bake cookies with yooooooouuu.  
  
The other four gundam pilots sweatdrop. After a few minutes, Duo wakes up and continues. So do the antics.  
  
Duo: What happened?  
  
Trowa: Long story, don't ask.  
  
Duo: Ok I'll continue then.  
  
This time Duo hits the ball and it doesn't go into a tree, instead, it runs into, and bounces off the hole flag and hits everyone pinball fashion, before going into the hole.  
  
Duo: Um, ok, that was. odd.  
  
Quatre: Yeah, it was.  
  
Wufei: Grrrrrrr.  
  
Trowa: .Alright, continue.  
  
He does so, or attempts to at least. He is interrupted by Heero's worst fear, and something that could make people in a 50 mile radius deaf. It is none other then. Relena.  
  
Relena: HEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOO!!!!  
  
Heero: AHHHHHHH!!! Get this psycho pacifist away from meeeeeeeee!!!!  
  
Heero proceeds to chase Relena with the 9 iron as Duo cheers him on. Wufei proceeds to laugh his ass off.  
  
Duo: Yeah! Kill her! Kill her! Go Heero! Go Heero! It's your birthday!  
  
Note: Heh heh, I couldnâEt resist.  
  
Wufei: Bwahahahahahahahahahaha! Yes! Kill the psychotic peace keeper!  
  
Quatre and Trowa sweatdrop.  
  
A few familiar characters from DBZ, who are on the sidelines watching, (Goku, Vegeta, Gohan, Goten, and Trunks) follow the movement.  
  
Trunks: We really need to get back to our world.  
  
Goten: Yeah, we really do, don't we?  
  
After several minutes of Heero chasing Relena with the 9 iron, the country club's security removes Relena from the premises. Duo continues to play, only this time something similar happens, the ball hits and bounces off the flag and this time, it hits Hilde who just happened to be working there gathering stray golf balls.  
  
Hilde: Ow! Who did that?  
  
Duo: Sorry Hilde.  
  
Hilde: Oh, ok. Hey, what are you guys doing here anyway?  
  
Trowa: Were trying to think of a place to go for dinner, since Duo ate the whole turkey as a midnight snack.  
  
Hilde: Oh Duo. Why did you do that?  
  
Duo: Uh, I was hungry?  
  
Everyone else sweatdrops.  
  
Soon after, they make it to the next course. Duo manages to get his ball in a water hazard. Duo, who is desperate to finish this game, goes into the water and tries to get the ball out of the water with the pitching wedge. Only by the time he gets the ball out of the water. He notices that everyone is completely soaked from the water he kicked out with the wedge.  
  
All: ........  
  
Duo: Um, whoops. again?  
  
Wufei: 'Again' he says.  
  
Duo: Finally, the ball is on the last green, we can eat after this.  
  
Heero: You know, if you hadn't eaten that whole turkey as a midnight snack, we wouldn't be here in the first place!  
  
Duo: Hey! Are you still going at me about that? I said I was sorry! Isn't that good enough?  
  
Wufei: Well, you certainly aren't showing any apology by what has happened.  
  
Duo: Dude! It wasn't my fault I nailed you with the 9 iron! Blame the people that made the cheap grip handle!!!  
  
Trowa: I don't think that helped Duo.  
  
Quatre: I really don't think he meant to rub it in you guys.  
  
After this dispute takes place, they finally finish the game, where they then return to the lodge to continue thinking of a place to go and eat.  
  
Heero: How about Red Lobster?  
  
Quatre: No, I'm not in the mood for fish.  
  
Wufei: How about Chinese?  
  
Trowa: No thanks. Hey! How about Friendly's? They have great hamburgers there!  
  
Duo: Yeah, not to mention the ice cream they have!  
  
Heero: Hmmmm.Sound's good to me. And Duo, is ice cream the only thing you think about?  
  
Duo: No, I think about lots of other things, like um, pizza, candy, potato chips, cake, muffins, cupcakes.  
  
Trowa: Pretty much anything that is junk food.  
  
Duo: Why are you all out to get me?  
  
And they agree to go to Friendly's for dinner. They pile back into the truck. And after several minutes of Duo's annoying antics, they arrive at Friendly's. And the first thing that Duo goes to is none other then. The ice cream.  
  
Duo: OOOOOOHHHHH!!! Look at all the flavors they have!  
  
Wufei: Later Maxwell.  
  
Duo: Sure Wuffie.  
  
A vein bulges on Wufei's forehead.  
  
Wufei: WHAT DID YOU SAY MAXWELL!?!?!  
  
Duo: Wuffie, Wuffie, Wuffie!!!  
  
Wufei: KISAMA!!!  
  
Wufei pulls his katana out of hammer space and proceeds to chase Duo again, this time, around the restaurant building. This time, Heero loses it and pulls out his gun and fires at the ground in front of Duo and Wufei. This causes them to stop dead in their tracks. They turn to see Heero, who looks VERY pissed off.  
  
Heero: GET INSIDE AND SIT DOWN DAMN IT!!!  
  
Duo & Wufei: EEP!!!  
  
With that one statement they ran inside like a rabid wolverine was chasing them. After about an hour of eating and more of Duo's antics they get back in the truck. But instead of going home first, Heero heads to a grocery store.  
  
Duo: Hey Heero, why are going here?  
  
Heero: To get a lock for the refrigerator.  
  
Everyone else sweatdrops.  
  
The End!  
  
Well, what did you think? Please R & R! 


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